There is a big difference between those who seek validation versus those who seek understanding.
You may notice, even in casual conversation, people are in such a hurry to get their point across that they do not take the time to listen. They believe they are right and want you to agree with their point of view (agree that they are right). These people seek validation.
Others ask probing questions. You give one answer and more questions follow, when this inquisitive person is seeking clarity to the answers you gave, this person is taking time to actively listen. These are the people who seek understanding.
Which are you?
Pseudo Experts do not seek understanding
We live in an information age where we are inundated with internet articles, social media posts and videos, persuading pop up advertising and a wealth of personal blogs; Everyone wants to be heard.
Many have become pseudo experts from all the information that they have taken in and then regurgitate this information onto the rest of us while seeking their own personal validation.
There is a big concern here.
There was a time that the masses would seek understanding. We received our information from accredited colleges and universities. We even went to libraries and book stores and read books that were written by authoritative sources. This authority was earned from experience and research.
This information age, in which we currently live, gives anyone a voice to state their own opinion and attempt to pass it off as a fact. Their facts are based on an article or post they read, a song they heard or a movie or TV show they have watched.
Case in point – One to Seek Validation
The other day this woman was telling me about an unsatisfactory situation her co-worker was having at work. She gave me her opinion on what she would do if SHE were the boss. Then she asked me what I thought.
After giving my opinion, which was different from hers, this woman tried to convince ME of the proper way to manage people. She has never been a manager, nor has she studied management. She heard one side of the story from her co-worker, read an article she found “somewhere” on the internet and felt she was an expert.
I have decades of experience in managing people, earned an MBA, and built several businesses where I hired people to help run the businesses. However, she did not really want my valuable advice. This individual was more interested with me agreeing with HER. Instead of trying to seek understanding; she was on a mission to seek validation.
The Wealthy Seek Understanding
It is quite simple, wealthy people have a better understanding. When I say wealthy, I am speaking of those who find it easy to attain money. These are the people who stay humble, do not try to impress people and simply stay in the flow of money.
How do they do that?
They ask probing questions and listen. They are seeking an understanding to people’s pain and necessities. Then, instead of telling them what they should do, they come up with a solution and have people pay for it.
This is done at work by getting raises/promotions and even as independent business owners seeking new clients/customers.
Case in point – One to Seek Understanding
My home in Indiana sat on over an acre of land.
A rep from certain landscaping company came by in his professional truck, dressed in uniform, carrying a clipboard. The rep took time to TELL me what I needed to do to keep my grass looking green, etc.
What he didn’t know was, I’m the type of person who believes that God takes care of the land. I just needed to groom it. So of course, I declined and bought a riding lawn mower.
The next season, another landscaper stopped by and asked how I liked my riding mower. He was driving a pick-up truck pulling a cart loaded with his equipment. His clothes looked like he just finished another job and I had difficulty understanding him do to his speech impediment.
After a probing conversation, where he mostly listened, he discovered that I do not enjoy cutting grass and trimming bushes. We later negotiated an agreement for him to do landscaping for the season. This humble guy added me to his list of referrals which included almost every house in the neighborhood.
One day, I saw him cruising by in his convertible corvette and discovered he actually LIVED in my affluent neighborhood and was doing pretty well.
Which do you think is better?
Being a “know it all” to seek validation
Being a “money magnet” and seek understanding